Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Land Before Time XV: Independence Day 2: The Fast and the Furious 8: Jurassic Universe's Return of the Living Dead


Interior Dom's garage. Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) and fixing a car. Hobbs (The Rock) walks in next to Little Foot.

Hobbs: I need you, for one last mission.

Dom: I told you I'm out of the game.

Hobbs: The game is not done with you.

Letty: He's out, we're all out.

Hobbs: How out are you going to be when a T-Rex comes stomping through your living room?

Dom: What are you talking about.

Little Foot: The aliens have weaponized time travel. They're releasing packs of velociraptors in New York city right now.

Letty: And what do you want us to do about it?

Hobbs: There's only one group of people I know who could break into the aliens' fortress in Cambodia and steal a time travel device.

Dom: Letty, call the crew.

Cut to montage of Mia reading to her children, Roman and Tej on a first class flight, Gisele and Han-Seoul-Oh eating brains in a fancy Tokyo restaurant. Each of them gets a phone call and flys back to Dom's neighborhood garage. Where they all stand around a table.

Little Foot (whispering to Hobbs): I don't trust no zombies.

Hobbs: Well those zombies happen to be an Israeli super spy and a drifter... and you don't even have thumbs.

Little Foot: I can still drive.

Hobbs: The aliens' fortress is guarded by thirty-six velocirapters and twelve T-Rexes. There's also a bunch of little buggers who spit poison. It's located underneath an abandoned Buddhist temple. We don't know what's inside. I'm betting robots.

Mia: Sounds like a challenge.

Dom: Sounds like fun.

Han: Braaaaaaaaaaaaains.

Dom: Let's roll out.

Everyone picks up guns and then climbs into shiny new cars, except for Gisele who is on a motorcycle, and Little Foot whose head is sticking out of a Jeep.

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